Breaking Down
by thejackal85
Summary: Quinn has to get something of her chest to Rachel... One shot, slight angst but happy ending! Faberry


**Well hello there everyone :D A short-ish one shot, turned a bit angsty but with a happy ending! Just like Hollywood. Enjoy!**

It was like a scene from a film. Well, almost. Quinn idly thought it should have been raining to coincide with her mood. At least then something would have been more depressing than what she felt right now.

But no, the sun was shining on a brisk Autumn afternoon. The blonde sat in her car across from the house she'd dreamt about last night. And for the entire month before that. She'd been sat for about an hour or so, trying to talk herself into going up and ringing the doorbell on said house. She sighed heavily and dropped her gaze to the steering wheel. She needed to do this. It didn't matter how long it took, she _was_ going to do this. Quinn closed her eyes slowly, and concentrated on breathing evenly. Her mind wandered back to the past couple of months.

"_Quinn! Please! Just stop running! We need to talk about this!"_

"_No we don't. You don't know what you're saying!"_

"_Quinn! STOP!"_

_The blonde halted immediately, almost causing Rachel to run right into her. The halls in the school were empty, only the sound of the two girls trying to catch their breath could be heard._

"_Berry, listen and listen good. I **do****not** like you. Got it?"_

"_No."_

_Quinn took a step closer to the diva, in an effort to intimidate her. Rachel's gaze hardened. That was until she saw the broken look the blonde had in her eyes._

"_Rachel… please."_

"_What, Quinn? What do you need me to do?"_

_No malice was in the question, just pure concern. The gap closed between them as Rachel laid a hand on the forearm of the other girl._

"_What are you so afraid of…? I feel like if I touched you any firmer, you'd shatter. Quinn, don't shut me out. There's nothing you can say that would make me judge you…"_

"_I… I can't."_

_The brunette saw tears threatening to fall in Quinn's eyes. That image alone broke her heart so much. She needed to fix this, to fix Quinn._

"_Quinn, look at me. Take a deep breath and relax. There's only you and me here. No one else. I'm not pressuring you into telling me something you're not ready to tell, but just know that I'll always be here to listen."_

_Just as she was about to release the forearm in her grasp, slender fingers wrapped around her wrist and a whisper was heard._

"_I'm so scared."_

_Rachel brought her other hand up to cover the paler one on her wrist._

"_I'm… so scared of this feeling. Feelings, I guess. It goes against everything that I was brought up to believe… I just… I don't know. My head is so messy right now, I can't even think straight."_

_She let out a humourless laugh at her last comment._

"_You bring out these feelings in me Rachel, and I'm not sure I want them. Hell, I don't know, maybe I do want them. See what I mean? Nothing makes sense around you. My walls come down, and **that** scares me, too. I just can't…"_

_Without warning, Rachel pulled Quinn into a warm embrace. That was the only encouragement the blonde needed to let her tears fall. They dripped softly onto a light purple shirt. Fleetingly, Quinn thought they looked like flowers blooming as the moisture seeped into the fabric. She needed this, the warm embrace. It was like opening a floodgate, and all her emotions that were stored up came rushing out like torrent. She could breathe again. As the sobs subsided, Rachel began to speak._

"_Quinn, I'm not telling you how you should feel, but I think you need those emotions, those raw feelings. You need to use them positively. Trust me when I say that blocking out this kind of thing only makes you worse. It closes you off from everyone around you… Okay? I'll stop rambling now."_

_Rachel felt a small smile on her shoulder, followed by a deep sigh. Quinn knew she was right. Since realising her feelings for the diva, she'd been miserable in trying to block them out or ignore them. She guessed the only way to be happy was to truly embrace who you were. And as a start, that meant admitting that she really did like Rachel. To Rachel's face._

"_Rmnchl.."_

"_Quinn, honey, I can't hear you with your eating my shoulder. Look at me."_

"_Sorry. I was saying you were right. My life has been about rules and regulations, what's expected of me, what image I should maintain… blah blah. I think it's time to discover who I truly am, and I already know one thing for certain. Something that I can't fight anymore…"_

_Before Quinn could even lean down, Rachel tiptoed and gently captured her lips. The kiss was soft and exploratory. This was the beginning of their relationship._

Quinn was jerked from her daydream by a passing car. It had been a month since that day, and their relationship had developed a little. They'd started dating more, but things were slowing down and Quinn believed this to be her fault. Hence why she was now parked outside the Berry household. She needed to give reason to Rachel for her stalling. She honestly did want to keep seeing the brunette, but she had to get something off her chest first. And the result could either make or break them.

She was now stood before the white wooden door the held Rachel Berry within. With three simple knocks, she braced herself and took a cleansing breath. The door gently swung open, and her girlfriend stood with a soft expression of surprise and delight.

"Quinn, hello! I wasn't expecting to see you today. Is everything okay?"

And without another word, Quinn began serenading the diva.

"_And I would give all this and heaven too,_

_I would give it all if only for a moment,_

_That I could just understand the meaning of the word you see,_

_'Cause I've been scrawling it forever,_

_But it never makes sense to me at all._

_No, words are a language,_

_It doesn't deserve such treatment,_

_And all my stumbling phrases,_

_Never amounted to anything worth this feeling,_

_All this heaven,_

_Never could describe such a feeling as I'm having,_

_Words were never so useful,_

_So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before."_

Both girls stood speechless, not knowing what to say. Rachel simply looked at the blonde with amazement etched on her face. No one had sang to her quite so beautifully, although she couldn't quite figure out the meaning behind the words Quinn had just sung. But before she had any more time to decipher it, the taller girl started to speak.

"Rachel, sorry this is rather spontaneous, but it needed to be done. I… I just wanted to tell you something's and I'm sorry if it affects our relationship, but… but I need this."

Rachel patiently stood in the doorway, taking in everything that was being said and nodded, encouraging Quinn to proceed.

"I know our… relationship… has been a bit up and down lately, and for that I want to apologise. A lot of it has to do with… well, me. I mean, you're such a great girl, Rachel, and you've made me happier than I've ever been before. Which is a feat in itself, I never knew I could feel like this. Wow… how cheesy do I sound right now…?"

She took a breath to steady herself.

"Back to my point. Look, Rachel, I can't sugar coat any of this, so I'm sorry if it sounds blunt. I'm damaged, Rach. None of which is your fault. I intentionally hurt people to make myself feel better. I… I love… this relationship we have, but… I know somewhere down the line, I'm going to hurt you and… I wouldn't be able to live with myself… so…"

She couldn't keep eye contact anymore. This was killing her.

"I think… I… just don't want to see hurt in your eyes Rachel. And because of that risk, I… we shouldn't be… together…"

Throughout Quinn's spiel, Rachel had kept quiet. She was digesting what the other girl had said with a blank expression on her face. They stood for a few minutes not saying a word, until the brunette broke the silence.

"What was the meaning of the song?"

That was probably the last thing Quinn expected her to ask, but it was valid nonetheless.

"I'm finding it hard to understand what I'm feeling when I'm with you. I've not felt like this before, so I'd give anything to know what it is, how to put what I'm feeling into words to make _you_ understand what I'm feeling. Do you know how many times I've written 'I love you' to someone? Do you know how many times I've actually meant it?"

A shake of the head.

"Once, to my Mom, that's it. Even then, I never knew _why_ I said it. Just one of those things you grow up saying. But you are the epitome of love Rachel. When I look at you, I see hope, dreams, love, warmth and every emotion possible. I just… I can't express what you make me feel, and in turn, how I want to make you feel it."

Quinn reached out to gently clutch a tanned hand in hers.

"And that… is my reasoning for the… the end of this relationship. My head is such a mess, I hate being out of control… and you make me feel this, Rach. I'm so sorry…"

The hand was dropped, but neither girl made an attempt to move away. A small sniffle caught Rachel's attention when she realised Quinn was quietly sobbing in front of her. She lifted a finger to the blondes chin and raised it so they were eye to eye.

"Quinn…" A sly smile crept on Rachel's lips, "…did you really think you'd get rid of me that easily?"

Confusion waded into Quinn's eyes. Rachel wasn't mad?

"No, I'm not mad. I'm actually very grateful for you opening up to me. I know it's rare that you share what you're feeling with others – even if, like you say, you don't really know _what_ you're feeling right now. But Quinn, from what you've described to me, it sounds like… well, you might be… in love."

Rachel closed the distance between them, grabbing both of the blondes hands with her own, interlacing their fingers.

"I know it's… scary. Believe me. But please, don't run Quinn. What you're feeling, whatever it is, you need to embrace it. Just let things happen. We don't know what the future holds for either of us, but right now, I'm happy. Happier than I've ever been, and I've gotta say, it's because of you…. Ugh, now who sounds like the cheesy one? Are we in a movie?"

A small snort released from the former cheerleader. Things were a little less serious now.

"So anyway, whatever happens Quinn, happens. You might hurt me – hang on, I have a point… You might hurt me, but I know you wouldn't do it intentionally. You've grown up knowing only to be mean to get your own way, and that's a habit incredibly hard to break after all those years of doing it. So yeah, we'll fall out no doubt, but just imagine what'll happen when we make up…"

The brunette winked at Quinn, who shuddered visibly. Rachel placed a soft kiss on the other girl before looking at her pointedly.

"We'll be like any other couple; have ups, have downs; make ups and fall outs; but just enjoy it Quinn. And just so you know, I've already picked out our apartment in New York for when we graduate…"

And with that, Rachel walked back into her house, pulling a grinning Quinn behind her.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading folks! Feedback is greatly appreciated.<strong>

**Lyrics from All This and Heaven Too by Florence + The Machine.**


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